Merii Kurisumasu

Well, it’s that time of year again; some would even call it the most wonderful time of the year, though I always felt that the end of the school year gave it a run for its money in terms of general elation. Regardless, Christmas is nearly upon us, and that means that it is once again time for me to wonder in a mixture of amusement and general confusion at the version of the holiday that exists before my eyes. While the old story of a beaming, crucified Santa Claus proudly displayed in a department-store window is probably just an urban legend, I’ve seen enough unusual Christmas traditions here to more than make up for that.

The first thing that one has to get used to are the different Christmas tunes that play constantly on the radio and as background music in stores. While there are a few well-known carols that make it over (“Silent Night” comes to mind), far more numerous are the pop tunes that have cropped up over the years. These range from Japanese versions of well-beloved classics (“Makka no o-hana no tonakai-san”/“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”, “Jinguru Beru”/“Jingle Bells”), to those by former members of the Beatles, to ones that I still don’t know the names of. There’s one Japanese ditty that keeps repeating “Silent Night” in a way that I’m pretty sure has little to do with the carol, but I still haven’t figured what it’s called. Such are the perils of catching snippets repeatedly when browsing in a convenience store.

But perhaps the most excruciating variety of Christmas song here is the novelty song, popular for all of a fortnight in its home country, but finding lasting appreciation here. The worst offender of this lot is, without a doubt, “Last Christmas” by WHAM! It is played to a nauseating degree every single Christmas here in Japan, and I really wish it would just go away. The song first came out for Christmas of 1984; it made #2 in the U.K. and an entirely undeserved appearance on the Top 40 in the U.S., but enthusiasm had justifiably cooled by the time I was born the following March. I hadn’t actually heard it until I came here, and that was probably for the best: just several listenings are enough to never want to hear it again. Even if you never had anything personal against George Michael, spending the entire Christmas season in Japan will have you contemplating, if not plotting, violence against the man—possibly involving the use of a time machine to go back to 1984, so that he will never have written it. The other perennial favorite here would seem to be “All I Want For Christmas (Is You)” by Mariah Carey. In this case, my annoyance doesn’t have to do with the song itself, so much as it does with my own personal dislike of the artist’s work. I sometimes wonder if maybe they like to play the song just to annoy me. Could be.

Venturing outside the world of the Christmas carol, you’ll find that Christmas in Japan is a time for… couples. The image of Christmas as the ideal romantic holiday to spend with your significant other far eclipses the idealized portrayal of families spending time together in tacky matched sweaters, if the latter image ever held sway here at all. You might think that Japanese business would have actively promoted Christmas as a time for buying gifts to give to everyone, but instead, all the ads for potential presents are tinged with romance. In Japan, gift-giving is practically second nature, so if the businesses don’t want to exploit it, it’s their loss. At any rate, rather than Christmas Day as a time to spend with loved ones and enjoy family-themed activities, Christmas Eve is the romantic night out for two. A few of my students were incredulous that the 25^th is actually more important than the 24^th in the English-speaking world. Crazy, I know.

For those who do decide to spend the big day—or evening, as it would seem—together with the family, there is at least a traditional holiday meal to share. This would, of course, be a bucket of KFC and a Christmas Cake. The latter, I can sort of understand: as an angel-food variety with white frosting and fresh strawberries, it bears little resemblance to the traditional cakes made around Christmastime in other countries, but at least the practice has some sort of precedent. The KFC, on the other hand, is just weird. I can get not cooking an actual bird at home when the oven can barely fit two drumsticks side-by-side in the oven, but if you’re going to do that, why not go that extra mile and actually get a whole cooked chicken? KFC, it would seem, has responded to that very question by promoting whole roast chickens for Christmas (which have to be reserved by the beginning of this week), but still: KFC? Why?!

The answer to all of this weirdness would have to be the simple fact that Christmas is a relatively late arrival in Japan. While Jesuit missionaries had visited Japan as early as the 16^th century, the Shogunate managed to effectively repress Christianity’s influence. Even now, less than one percent of Japanese identify themselves as Christian, which means that Christmas has mostly been absorbed through exposure to Western—and predominantly American—mass media. As a result, here they have fancy illuminations, trimmed trees, Santa-san, and flying reindeer; what they lack (or at least they did, initially) was a sense of the cultural and religious traditions that went along with it, so they created their own. I wouldn’t call it pure mimicry, exactly, so much as pragmatic adaptation. Besides, I rather like the ability to enjoy a secular Christmas on my own terms, without the perennial assertion from certain quarters that I really ought to subscribe to the religious beliefs that gave us such pretty Nativity scenes, even if the Winter Solstice celebration itself has been around for quite a while longer.

Of course, part of the reason for Christmas’s popularity in Japan has to do with its entirely coincidental placement right before New Year’s, which in Japan is a Big Deal—but more on that next week. For now, enjoy the spirit of Holiday Cheer with your family and friends—just go easy on the old George Michael singles, for everyone’s sake.